First session with a new client: what to ask, and when to book the next

Someone new is at your door. They came on someone’s recommendation, with what that person told them about your work and with questions of their own. For a practitioner who works one to one, a first session with a new client usually runs longer than the rest. You are getting to know each other, and the main thing to find out is why they came.

This is true for bodywork, coaching, energy work or anything else you do one to one. You can settle the next session in one of two ways, and both are normal.

Why does the first session run longer?

Part of the first hour goes to talking about how you work, and most of that talk never needs repeating.

In my practice, new people come all year round, most often because someone sent them. They arrive with questions about how the work goes and what happens during a session.

I answer, they ask more. These questions add between half an hour and an hour, depending on how the conversation goes. By the second visit, most of them are already answered.

In a survey of 115 massage therapists in New Zealand, first visits averaged 68 minutes and follow-ups 58. It is one country and the therapists’ own reports, but it points the same way: first visits run longer.

One coaching school plans a first coaching session by the minute, starting with “Welcome and connection (5-10 minutes)”, and adds that these are “guidelines, not rigid timeframes”.

A plan like that helps when every session has a fixed length. If you decide how long your sessions run, give the first one an extra half hour to an hour.

What to ask a new client

Ask why they came, and how much they are looking for help. Everything else can go on a form before you meet.

Many lists of what to ask a new client are about pain. A list of ten questions on the MassageBook blog opens with “How would you describe your lifestyle?” and “What is causing you pain or discomfort?”

The same post does ask you to talk to the person, “driving to the heart of why they’re there”. So it mentions why they came, and then goes back to questions about the body.

In my practice, people come for one of two reasons. Some come with a specific concern — something in how they feel, a difficulty they can name. Quite a few come out of curiosity and find something unexpected during the session itself.

What I most want to know is how much this person is looking for help. Sometimes the thing that matters only comes up while we talk or work, and it surprises them as well.

You won’t get that from a list. It comes out while we talk freely and while I work: in what they mention along the way, and in what the body does under my hands.

The same coaching school says it directly: “The first session is about building relationship and understanding, not creating comprehensive action plans.”

Curiosity and need look the same on a form and different in the room. With your next new client, let the form cover everything else, and spend the conversation on why they came.

What to write after the first session

Write what you noticed, what happened, and the small specific details, because later the first note is the only record of why this person came.

In a first session I don’t know what to expect. So I watch the way you watch in meditation: noticing as much as I can, without the usual filter. Afterwards I write down whatever caught my attention. A phrase the person used, where we paused, what surprised them.

Honestly, when a note takes a long time to write, it doesn’t always get finished.

In my practice, the person often comes back a month or two later, sometimes three. In between you see many other people, and the details fade: that they came out of curiosity, what came up, where you left off. By then, only the first note still says why they came.

For what goes into any session note, see session notes without the clinic. The first note is the one you open before the second meeting.

Try it tonight on the last new person you saw: write why they came, what happened and one small detail. The parts you can no longer remember are exactly what a first note is for.

Should you book the next session before they leave?

It depends on what happened in the session. If nothing was set in motion, agree on the date before they leave. If something shifted, tell them what may come up in the next few days, and talk again once it settles.

The usual advice is to book before they leave. PracticeVital, a company that sells software for running a practice, says: “The best time to rebook is before the session ends.” The post admits the fear of sounding “pushy or salesy”, and still gives only that one answer.

Practitioners ask each other about this too. One therapist asked colleagues: “Do you always ask the client at the end of the appointment when they’d like to book next or do you wait for them to contact you to book?” Most who answered book at the end or keep a regular slot for that client. One gives the client a choice: “Would you like to book your next time today or do you want to go home and think about it?”

In my practice, what happened in the session decides which way we go. When the session went smoothly and nothing was set in motion, we set the next date at the end.

Something shifting can look like this. A touch lands on the wrist instead of the palm. To the person it feels closer than they expected, and their body tightens or goes still before they know why. When they notice it happening, it becomes just a reaction — something they watched their own body do. Once someone has seen that, they often start to notice the same reaction in other parts of their life.

That takes a few days to settle. So I tell them what sensations may come up in the days after, so nothing frightens them. Some write or call on their own once they notice something. Either way, after a while I write to ask how they are.

“Clients want to be invited back, full stop,” as one practitioner put it. Asking how someone is still invites them back. It only comes later.

Sometimes it is already clear what to work on next, and the person has finished taking in what came up. Then I say so before they go. For words you can use, see how to ask someone back.

When someone doesn't come back

It happens, and it is normal: not everyone is a fit for every practitioner, every modality, or what a session can bring up.

Some people I have seen once have not come back. Some are not ready to go deeper right now. For some, what came up is simply too much. Others come back because a lot came up, and they want to go further.

The International Coaching Federation’s core skills for coaches include partnering with the client “to determine client-coach compatibility”. Fit is something two people find out together.

Nobody has a reliable count of how many people return after a first session with a solo practitioner. So judge the first meeting by one thing: did you find out why they came? The rest is up to them.

Where do you keep the first meeting until the second?

Keep it in one place you open before the second meeting: the first note, their form answers and the next date, side by side. HoldSpace is built for exactly that — your session notes, bookings and each client’s history in one place.

After the person leaves, you dictate the note, and it is saved as text on that client’s timeline, next to their sessions and form answers. Before the first meeting, you can send a form as a link. If you agreed to talk later, the person can pick a date on your booking page when they are ready.

Reminders go out only for a session already booked. There are no automatic follow-up campaigns: the invitation stays yours. You can see how it looks, and how it fits a bodywork practice, coaching or energy work. Three months later, you open their card and begin where the two of you stopped.

Start with the next new personFree plan: 30 minutes of voice, 10 structurings and 5 clients.

FAQ

Should you rebook a new client at the end of the first session?

It depends on what happened. If the session went smoothly and nothing was set in motion, yes. If something shifted, tell them what may come up in the next few days, and agree to talk once it settles. Both are normal.

What should you ask a new client?

Why they came, and how much they are looking for help. Everything else belongs on a form before the meeting.

What do you tell a client about how they may feel after a session?

Tell them what may come up in the next few days, such as sharper sensations, so nothing frightens them. It is rare, but it happens. Don’t try to explain why: even the article that calls it a “healing crisis” says “research on the phenomenon is very limited”. If anything worries them, that is a question for their doctor.